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	<title>this side of the Door</title>
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	<description>mostly my garden and what I do with the fruit from this garden</description>
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		<title>this side of the Door</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com</link>
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		<item>
		<title>more sadness..</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/10/16/more-sadness/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/10/16/more-sadness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:35:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[on death and life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://banillabean.wordpress.com/?p=516</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[October 16, 2008 2:45am My oldest brother died today. He suffered with congestive heart failure.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=516&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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		<title>a little something about..</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/a-little-something-about-me/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/a-little-something-about-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Sep 2008 08:12:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[on death and life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://banillabean.wordpress.com/?p=496</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Having lost my husband this past March and having experienced first hand much of what the article below touches in regard to grief and the death of a loved one, I feel it is important to share this information with others. I believe that most people want to know, want to try to understand grief [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=496&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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		<title>life after death..</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/it-is-hard-thing-to-realize/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/it-is-hard-thing-to-realize/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:41:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[my garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[on death and life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[broken heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[separation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://banillabean.wordpress.com/?p=449</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[. . . . . but how could that be? Today, September 10, complete six months of living on my own, without Rudy Raul. He has been gone for six long months. Six long months. Although feeling that one will die, one does not die (immediately) after losing the love of her life.  I am [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=449&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://banillabean.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/emy13.jpg?w=300" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">emy13</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://banillabean.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/dscf0001a.jpg?w=300" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">dscf0001a</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://banillabean.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/collage3.jpg?w=181" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">collage3</media:title>
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		<title>from my garden to my kitchen &#8212; a memorable event</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/from-my-garden-to-my-kitchen-memorable-event/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/from-my-garden-to-my-kitchen-memorable-event/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:47:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/?p=5</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[is my first home cooked meal since February. I had just gone out to our vegetable garden&#8230; the one I have neglected after all the plants were in. I had found no joy in that garden &#8212; just memories of the past years of gardening with the love of my life, Rudy.  The garden, though [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=5&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">Harvest 2007</media:title>
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		<title>missing Rudy Raul . . .and our Anniversary</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/08/29/missing-rudy/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/08/29/missing-rudy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:37:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Add new tag]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Raul and Ema]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding anniversary]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://banillabean.wordpress.com/?p=391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[gosh, I wish Rudy Raul was home &#8212; in this home. Our home. I miss his presence.. miss him just being next to me. Miss him at Dinner, at Lunch and at Breakfast. I miss sitting next to him while watching a movie.. miss laying on the bed with my head in his lap as [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=391&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">Raul and Ema  September 24, 1994</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">Raul and Ema  November 1995</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>my garden, neglected, overgrown&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/08/10/my-garden-neglected-overgrown/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/08/10/my-garden-neglected-overgrown/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:36:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[my garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[larkspur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overgrown garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spurge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vegetables]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://banillabean.wordpress.com/?p=388</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[extremely sad looking garden. Not a garden to be proud of. Not a garden that shows tender loving care by it&#8217;s creator. Noooooo. I should take a photo and let you see my sad garden. Today I took my body into our vegetable garden and began to cut back the larkspur that had all but [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=388&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">Raul and Buster, our then 3 month old Puginese, April 2001</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>completely sleepless in Nampa..</title>
		<link>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/completely-sleepless-in-nampa/</link>
		<comments>http://behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/completely-sleepless-in-nampa/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Aug 2008 01:36:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>banillabean</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[my garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rudy's Lilac]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sleeping pills]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sleepless]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://banillabean.wordpress.com/?p=379</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[as the little pill did not help at all last night. I lay awake, tossing and turning till the wee hours of the morning. .the wheels of my mind spinning every which way. I must have cried myself to sleep&#8211;it must have tired me. It must have been close to 5A.M by the time I [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=behindmyreddoor.wordpress.com&amp;blog=1962865&amp;post=379&amp;subd=behindmyreddoor&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">banillabean</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">solitary pink</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">base of Rudy&#039;s Lilac</media:title>
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